What an interesting week it has been. I am really happy to say that I have SURVIVED! YAY! I was very anxious going into this arrangement ~ old programming as much as anything ~ but this year has brought a new pattern of thinking … when I get anxious about something (which occurs often) I am honouring that anxiety, taking a breath, and really looking at what I am anxious about, and why. “Ease & Grace” Wild Woman helped me recognise that process and also reminded me, in a completely ‘off the cuff’ way, that I could change that behaviour. Wow!
David is on his way home, today. I am looking forward to seeing him – a lot! I am not looking forward to sharing my bedroom with him, though. I Like my space! But, I guess it will be worth sharing because it means we are together, and the thing I have learned this week is that Responsibility Shared is Responsibility Halved. Crises are significantly less intense when there is someone to share them with!!!!! And even more manageable when that someone believes in you – even when you have a quite different perspective on, and approach to, life.
I think that the other thing I have learned is that Being Authentic, as I’ve been exploring with “Simple Abundance”, is Much Greater in concept than I have ever realised. For years, I have been seeking the True ME … it’s been a Very Long, Very Intense, Very Frustrating process. Over the last couple of days, in particular, I have discovered/realised that Being All That I Can Be is HUGE. I believe that I have finally reached one of those Places of Peace, where I am accepting of the circumstances around me. (Not a usual occurence in my life in the last few years.)
Yesterday, I had the vision of standing in the surf being battered by crashing waves. The forces of the water were so strong that I really felt that maybe I should just lay down and body surf in with the waves, to shore. Then, I realised that pylons which hold up jettys experience tidal forces, too, and they remain firm. I ’saw’ myself standing in the waves, and noticed that they parted around me, and kept on with their destination, even though I was blocking some of the path.
At this Moment in Time, I am Happy and Accepting of the choices I have made and the place I have reached in my heart. I am still experiencing Grief and Sadness for a particularly difficult situation, but The Gift from this is that Thanks to My Father, I have been able to find my way clear of several lifetimes of baggage.
And, I am Grateful.
And, appreciative.
Go in Peace, Dad.
Welcome Home, David!
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