Joy Express

Dad died, yesterday.

 

It was much more sudden than I expected, although a long time coming considering the health challenges he had been living with for over 5 years.  The process of his death sounded peaceful and I am sad.  Sad for so many things. 

Sad for the loss of someone who had a very important part to play in my life.  Sad for all those affected by his passing.  Sad for the challenges I faced navigating the seas of pain and judgement from my extended family.  Very sad that persecution is still happening in the world.

 

However, I was Blessed to be surrounded by Very Special People during the course of the day of Dad’s death.  And, I find a smile on my face, in spite of the tears in my eyes, as I write. 

 

As I made my morning coffee, I was struck by the ‘little’ things ~ I watered my African Violets and remembered they came from Dad (many years ago).  My thoughts wandered down the path of other things I do or have which were ‘Dad’ ~ my LOVE of Fuschias; my love of Chinese food (bought and homemade); my memories of heated discussions about life, when I was growing up; our conversation after his operation for oesophageal cancer, about alternative medicine and philosophy of life; the plants in our garden which came from Dad …

 

And, the Lessons Learned from Dad … taking risks; following your heart; aggressively pursuing a course of action; being consistent; supporting others rights to believe what they believe; how to be True to Yourself; effective communication; living life as a square in a round hole; the importance of Being There for your kids …

 

After 40 odd years of grief and distress about my relationship with Dad, I have, just this week, reached a place of peace with him.  I am so grateful.  I understand why I had to live through such challenging times and have such challenging experiences … the Soul who was my dad has guided my journey in this lifetime more profoundly than I ever, ever realised.

 

And, I am Humbled.

 

Edited to add: My nephew was killed in a car accident in the early hours of this morning.  He was 20 1/2 years old,  and leaves a girlfriend and daughter … my Love and Compassion go to my brother and sister-in-law.