By 7.30am, yesterday, I had blogged, checked emails and Facebook; made a birthday card, written on the card, and organised for Kels to post it on the way to the bus; made Kels’ lunch and created my breakfast; put washing on and fixed the blinds.

I spent my stamping time listening to a clairvoyant reading from 1999 ~ a bit of a time warp!  I was listening to my 18 month old daughter chatting/coughing/crying while Lee and I were talking ~ that was really weird!  And, I had an incredible insight into my life at 36.

The most astounding thing about the whole morning was the awareness that the things I was challenged with then are the same things I am challenged with now.  I still put the kids and David first.  I still do too much.  I still have issues about money.  Daniel still behaves in a similar fashion … I still don’t really understand Josh … I’m still attempting to “write my book” (I gave myself 5 years to do it!).

I think the only thing which has changed is I am more peaceful within myself.

It was a little difficult to switch back into current reality because ‘time-surfing’ is what I do and I really love it.  My life was so much more tumultuous when the kids were little.  My life is much smoother now.  I enJOY the kids a lot!  David and I still don’t have as much time together as we would like and I feel that there is a time warp happening here.  That seems to have been a common theme in our marriage, since the beginning.

Looking through a window in time to my younger self I find myself asking, “does change really happen?”

I guess I can see how I have ‘changed’ in the last 12 years: physically – definitely, but fundamental change has been much slower and probably happens because the kids have grown up moreso than me doing things differently.

I am really, really passionate about Past Lives.  This quest for understanding has coloured and influenced almost my entire life.

I love immersing myself in the past; earlier in this lifetime and in previous incarnations.  I love what I learn – even the ‘bad’ bits.  I understand so much more about who I am and how I became that way.

But, listening to a snapshot of my life just 12 years ago I wonder what I have learned and how I have become a ‘better’ me.  Today, I question whether change really happens?  Have I changed because I have actively worked at it or has it occurred because time has passed?

Food for thought.