By 7.30am, yesterday, I had blogged, checked emails and Facebook; made a birthday card, written on the card, and organised for Kels to post it on the way to the bus; made Kels’ lunch and created my breakfast; put washing on and fixed the blinds.
I spent my stamping time listening to a clairvoyant reading from 1999 ~ a bit of a time warp! I was listening to my 18 month old daughter chatting/coughing/crying while Lee and I were talking ~ that was really weird! And, I had an incredible insight into my life at 36.
The most astounding thing about the whole morning was the awareness that the things I was challenged with then are the same things I am challenged with now. I still put the kids and David first. I still do too much. I still have issues about money. Daniel still behaves in a similar fashion … I still don’t really understand Josh … I’m still attempting to “write my book” (I gave myself 5 years to do it!).
I think the only thing which has changed is I am more peaceful within myself.
It was a little difficult to switch back into current reality because ‘time-surfing’ is what I do and I really love it. My life was so much more tumultuous when the kids were little. My life is much smoother now. I enJOY the kids a lot! David and I still don’t have as much time together as we would like and I feel that there is a time warp happening here. That seems to have been a common theme in our marriage, since the beginning.
Looking through a window in time to my younger self I find myself asking, “does change really happen?”
I guess I can see how I have ‘changed’ in the last 12 years: physically – definitely, but fundamental change has been much slower and probably happens because the kids have grown up moreso than me doing things differently.
I am really, really passionate about Past Lives. This quest for understanding has coloured and influenced almost my entire life.
I love immersing myself in the past; earlier in this lifetime and in previous incarnations. I love what I learn – even the ‘bad’ bits. I understand so much more about who I am and how I became that way.
But, listening to a snapshot of my life just 12 years ago I wonder what I have learned and how I have become a ‘better’ me. Today, I question whether change really happens? Have I changed because I have actively worked at it or has it occurred because time has passed?
Food for thought.