Joy Express

awareness

friendship

magical experiences in nature

lovely people who understand the difficult times and are there to support you

lemon myrtle soy melts

morning coffee

dressing up

making creative projects up from talented designer’s recipes

girlfriends who finally discover the magick of stamping!

receiving my next team swap in the mail

angel readings

facilitating workshops

planning lunches, coffees, gatherings

earning my own money

Being Awesome!

 

Today would have been my nephew’s 21st birthday.  He died almost 6 months ago. Six hours after my father died.  Joel died after being hit by a car.  Dad died of  cancer.  Joel was 20.  Dad was 70.

I know a lot.  I know a lot about a few specific things.  David knows a lot.  He knows a lot about a lot of things.

What I didn’t know was just how hard living with your choices and decisions can be. 

I also didn’t know how amazing the feeling of Freedom would be.

I am free of all the constraints and shackles I have worn for 45 years of life.

It may not be the day to talk about it, given Joel’s birthday, but I am grateful that Joel and Dad ‘went’ together.  I am comforted by the scene in my mind which had a battered and crippled young man hobbling through into the light while supporting, and being supported by, an old man at the end of his life.  I like the harmony of that image.

Dad is now free.  Free of the challenges of living with a body which had been turned inside out and upside down after his cancer operation several years earlier.  He is in the ’spirit’ world, fit and healthy ~ well, almost.    He’s looking out for his grandson, who is also healing and being healed. 

And, I am Free, too.

Thank God!

I am Free from distress and anxiety and anger and sadness and being controlled.  I am Free from feeling unsafe. My adult life has been filled with stuff, all connected to the choices and decisions I have made given the choices and decisions dad made with regards to me, and himself.  I don’t miss him at all.  His physical presence in my lifetime was all about controlling me, about me behaving in a way that he saw as appropriate.  It was about ‘do as I say’ rather than ‘do as I do’.

I feel like a helium balloon, floating on a long, long string.  It’s Blissful.  I am able to make choices and decisions which are All Mine.  They are not coloured by dad …

That sense of Freedom is so, so precious to me.  I am very grateful that Dad has died.  I am very grateful for the learning and awareness I have received as a result.  We have a much better relationship now.  I think of him often.  I remember the things he taught me.  And, I appreciate all those things which were ‘wrong’ about me (in Dad’s eyes) because they have made me who I am today.  I am Grateful because I Love Who I Am and I Love Where I Am At in my life.

It only took 45 years. 

And, finally, I am Free.

Our next Stampin’ Kids theme is all about 3D projects and the girls have requested the fabulous display vase in the current SU! Ideas Book & Catalog.  I was  a bit challenged when they said that as I am not really into those On Board shapes.

However …

Lovely Elaine spent an afternoon with me, stamping, and I decided to recreate the cute On Board 5″x5″ Art Journal project in the Autumn-Winter Mini Catalog.  I had a whole afternoon (after a sumptuous lunch at our favourite cafe) to ‘play’ with the So Tweet Chipboard shapes and discovered that it was Heaps of Fun!  My Journal has pride of place on the craft shelf ready to inspire the girls at Stampin’ Kids!

Kirsty Brown’s project for UStamp was the cutest colouring book (if you haven’t joined UStamp you really are missing out on the most fabulous range of projects and gorgeous creative people!) made using the Top Note Die and Big Shot.  As I don’t have appropriately aged children, I decided to change the theme of my booklet and made it into a Note Pad.  Having heaps of Owls to use, I explored the whole Chipboard process even further and created this awesomely cute friend to adorn the cover of my little book.

I thought it might be a lovely little note book for Kels or even my mum to use … Kirsty had a fabulous box of pencils attached to her colouring book so I found a perfectly coordinated pen to match my note book!  Each page has been stamped with a little stem of flowers from the Cottage Garden Stamp Set and I used Crystal Effects on the eyes and nose of the owl to make them stand out.

I LOVE Stamping!

Today, I am off to the Wellbeing & Lifestyle Expo in South Morang.  I’m hanging out with the Groovy Goddesses ~ Davine, Caroline, Deb and Maria ~ and will be offering Angel Readings while the other ‘Goddesses’ offer Reiki, Jewellery and Candles.  It’s going to be So Much Fun!

This is what I LOVE.

Being in this energy/space gives me a jumping off point for ‘painting a picture’  of what my life will look like in 2020 …

I will be 56 years old;

My kids will be 29, 26 1/2 & 22 (Gosh!!);

David will be 56 almost 57;

We will be living in our current home but in the process of relocating;

We will be traveling overseas at least once a year;

David will be my business manager and continuing his “Rock God” path, on the side;

I will be handing over the reigns of my company/business to a trusted employee which will free me up for travelling;

I will be considering a new book contract;

I will be fit and healthy ~ exercise will be a regular and committed process, maybe including personal training and yoga; I will enJOY spending time with Stillness allowing my mental health daily ‘time out’;  I will have a regular committment to working in the garden, getting my hands dirty and being renewed in energy and good health; I will have clear and constant access to all things spiritual and have integrated “5D” with “3D” realities; my diet will fulfill all my needs and be Easy;

I will own my own car ~ something mid-sized and sporty;

I will be Financially Independent;

I will be embarking on the adventures of a lifetime ~ Great Love and Journeys with David.

Goodness!  How Inspiring!  Is that REALLY how my life will be in 10 years time???

Like Daniel starting out on his life’s journey, I am sure that things will change between now and then.  The important thing is to Step Forward Strongly.  Make a Committment to something and go out and get it. 

When I think about where I am at now – July, 2010 – I realise that my life is pretty darn good.  But, having just done this process of Creating a Picture about where I will be in 10 years time (in essence, giving myself a ‘reading’), I realise that having a destination really does help with focusing and grounding my thoughts and plans.

Daniel sets weekly goals with his team … what he wants to achieve in sales for the week.  They are revisited each day, then reset each new week.

It’s probably time that I set some serious goals … not just ‘everyday’ goals like planning dinners or getting through the washing each week, but something which really focuses on the bigger picture.  Kels has been watching Macleod’s Daughters over the holidays and when Kate Manfredi arrives at Drover’s Run one of the first things she does is put her “5 Year Plan” poster on the wall.  That’s always appealed to me.  Maybe it’s time I did “Michelle’s 5 Year Plan”.

Hmmm.  Food for Thought.

How does my Life Look in 5 Years Time?

 

Another question I find myself asking clients, and friends, is “Where Do You See Yourself in 10 Years Time?”.  Not many can answer that question.

I’m not sure I can, either.

The only thing I know for sure is that I am on the path that I really, really want to be on, and I am journeying towards – what?  Doing “Lightworker” business full time?  Being Fully Engaged in my Career? Travelling? Earning a Living doing Readings and Workshops?

I guess it’s a bit of all of that.

When Daniel was in the process of leaving school, he was considering exactly this question.  He looked around at people whom he admired and talked to them about their lives, successes and challenges, and formed a picture of the direction in which he’d like to head.  He had a goal of whom he wanted to be like, by the time he was 40. 

This was an excellent process to go through because it gave him a direction to begin with once he’d left school. 

Twelve months later, he has a new direction and a new ‘destination’, and that’s ok.  Because the whole point of asking the question, “Where Do I Want to Be in 10 Years Time?”, is to find a path to start travelling.  The beauty of the path is that lots of options appear as you travel it … side streets, hills, mountains, valleys, new people, different situations … just like travelling in a city or country town.  There are always things to see on the way and choices which can be made, sometimes redefining the original direction, sometimes just making it more interesting.

So, Where Do YOU See Yourself in 10 Years Time?